Sleep calls to me

Uh oh. I've started to sleep again. I woke up at 2pm today, and only because my dad came in and said, "You're still asleep?" I wasn't really. I was lying there dreaming, which I do when I'm just lying there trying to sleep. But 2pm? I thought it was maybe 10am. I felt like I had just turned off the alarm, which goes off at 8:30am.

Sleep is a total symptom for me. A symptom of depression. I lie in bed, sleeping or not, and just let myself relax. I tune out the world and stop thinking about the things that are bothering me. Mostly, I dream about having a job and living in a neat new place. I dream about living with Adam. I dream about a lot of things, but always in a positive light. My dreams make me happy.

But they lead to depression. Am I getting depressed? I think so. The other night talking with Adam about everything that's going on in life, I almost started crying. I always feel comfortable crying around him, and I seem to do it a lot. I wondered at the time what things I'm shoving down and just not thinking about. I can't seem to bring stuff up with my therapist - I just always think of feeling ok about everything.

I don't think meds will help, either. I feel like the cocktail I'm on is great, and this is just a situational depression. Wouldn't you be a little down by now?