Is this rude?

We were supposed to try and go out to lunch, Adam and I. I told him I couldn't go til 1, and he wrote back that 1 was not good, so I asked about 2pm. He never responded. I understand that he backs away every time we talk about "us," but that's just rude, methinks. You should always respond, whether in the affirmative or the negative.

I'm off to a meeting tonight to hear Erin speak, and to go to dinner beforehand. She says she's got some stuff to talk to me about after seeing me with Adam last night, so this should be interesting. I wonder what she's got to say. I know Adam can be an ass sometimes, but I love him anyway.

You know, sometimes I think I love him more like a brother. I don't have any brothers and sisters, so I don't know how that feels, but I feel like he knows me better than anyone. Which is not true. He knows the old me, and a lot about the deep dark shit, because I can't seem to lie to him about how crappy I'm feeling, but I do leave things out. What's funny is the person who probably knows me best is Michael. Michael and I would be great together if he weren't such an ass in relationships. He's calmed down a lot, and so have I, but we just made each other mad all the time.

Maybe the common denominator is me. Maybe I just push people away. Am I too needy? Am I not needy enough? It seems to be different with different people.