It's not the Celexa, it's me

I hate to admit this, but I'm getting fat because I've been lazy, not because of the meds. I looked up Celexa, and it doesn't seem to cause weight gain, and sometimes it can cause weight loss. I mean, I know I can blame at least 5 lbs on the Zyprexa, because it just happened that fast, but the other 10lbs I need to lose are on here because I stopped running.

I hate how my body feels. My thighs rub together again, and none of my pants fit. I can't even pull on one of my dresses. I feel like I'm huge and it's making me unhappy.

It's not like I'm eating a lot, either. I'm doing Weight Watchers and really being good about it. It's not like I eat crap all day. I barely have three meals. I eat a lot of snacks like bananas and blueberries. I do drink the diet Cokes, but they're diet. My problem is that I'm not really getting any exercise. I walk around some days, but that's maybe 2 days a week I'm out and about. I need to be running.

But is it unnatural for me to maintain a size 6? Every time I lose weight I gain it back and settle in the size 12-14 range. Every freaking time. And I've been doing this dance since 2004. And when do I gain it back? When I stop running. So what does that tell me? A) Keep running B) Get comfortable in a size 14. Why? Because running isn't going to last forever.

"Charts and tables cannot tell you what your natural weight is; only your body can. And it can only do this when you follow a self-loving enough path to have a healthy, normal and consistent eating pattern – while having a fun and active lifestyle – over a sustained period of time, with enough laughter and sleep."