A fiesta it's not

I love to throw parties. Any excuse for a party, and I'm on it. Grilling in the backyard, hanging out with friends, getting ridiculously drunk.

My last party was Cinko de Drinko on Cinko de Mayo. I had about 20 people over in my little backyard and dressed it up in Mexican themed stuff. I even have chili pepper lights and some with sombrero's on them. It looked awesome. I started drinking while setting up the party, around noon. I shared a bottle of wine with the guy on the grill, and by the time people arrived at 3 I was primed and ready. I also had a friend in town who was leaving that night at 7 from the airport near my house. I had promised him a ride.

Progressively, I got wasted. I'm not sure how many bottles I personally finished, but there were about a dozen in my recycle bin the next morning. There were also numerous beer cans and about two pitchers of punch that I know I drank. Tequila is the official drink of Mexican themed parties, you know.

When it came time for my friend to leave, I got up and weaved to find my keys. Luckily, the only sober person there offered to drive him. I so would have. I was ready and everything.

The rest I remember of the night, I was tripping over my skirt and falling down in my house, and then I woke up the next morning in my pj's, in my own bed, with my ex-boyfriend. Again. I promised myself I wouldn't sleep with him anymore, and apparently I said some things that he took as me liking him still. I mean, he should have taken it that way. I said we might as well get married cause no one wants either of us. I'm a bitch.

My friend Mary called the next day and told me to promise not to tell him what we talked about. She said, I totally agree that he was really mean to you when you were dating, but he'd be mad if you repeated anything I said. I pinkie swore not to tell - I have absolutely no memory of talking to her.

So, how do I throw a party now? What will my guests do? Since all my friends drink, should I just let them get drunk and abstain? Labor day is coming up, and I'll luckily be out of town, but I have my annual Halloween party and then drunk Thanksgiving where I take care of all the orphans who can't fly home. How will we be social? How to lubricate a party on Shirley Temple's?