Thanks Bill

From As Bill Sees It, page 115:

"The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails."

I have always had a willingness to change. I'm not someone who has to sit on something in order to make a decision. I see change, and I grab it. I can see the possibilities and look to the future. I saw a life in another state and reached out for that life line. I saw that becoming sober was the way to go, and I grabbed it. I take my punches and have no regrets.

This also has its downsides. As I think I've mentioned before, I have no patience. I want to change NOW. I can't wait for the glories and consequences of change - it's what makes life worth living. The excitement of something new and different. Perhaps I'm a little ADD.

This program is slowing me down. I'm listening to people and to my own Higher Power, and trying to relax. I should just title this blog "Relax, Damnit."

So when they tell you not to make any changes in the first year, I balked (thanks Adam, now I always think "Bawk" when they say it). No change? I can't quit my job, or move, or get into a relationship? Nope. Well then, what the hell am I supposed to do with myself?

I suppose a big part of my program will be learning how to be ok in the moment and enjoy the things I do have. I have a job, and that's awesome. I actually don't want to move, though everyone else hates my dark basement apartment. And relationships? Well, I can wait.

Let's all live in the moment together. Just breathe and appreciate all you have. It's still ok to dream about the future - what is faith without works, after all? You still have to build that house where God can live, so living in the moment doesn't mean you can avoid change or not think about the future. But for just this second, be grateful for all you have now.