What is God?

I grew up Catholic, going to mass every day at Catholic school, in my little plaid jumper and red bow tie. They made you pull your socks up to your knees, too, or you got in trouble.

My God was a loving God, shown through the priests, nuns, and teachers who cared for us and showed us kindnesses. He was omnipresent and actually cared about little old me.

I eventually began to question God and his motives. He didn't like gay people, eh? He would punish you if you messed up, right? Well, how was he a good and loving God, then? And then I realized years later, that's the church, not my God. My God is still a loving being, even to those who mess up or don't fit with the church's idea of "moral."

I went to confession last year, and confessed everything. I mean everything. All of the bad things I've ever done, even the things that went against the church's teachings. And you know what? An incredible burden was lifted from me. And the priest even forgave me! He didn't hold my "sins" against me, or tell me to leave his church. He was the personification of God on earth, and gave me my life back.

So who is this God of AA? I believe He's still my God. He can be anything you want Him to be, but to me, He's the God of my childhood. I know He's been doing for me what I couldn't do for myself all along. I believe that He will continue to look out for me, and if I ask Him again, He will remove my shortcomings and lift that burden from my heart.