Boredom kills

"Boredom is not a unified concept but may comprise several varieties, including the transient type that occurs while waiting in line and so-called existential boredom that accompanies a profound dissatisfaction with life."

I'm so bored with life. Not that I don't have anything to live for, I just have a "profound dissatisfaction." I don't like my job, and I'm not sure I even like the field I'm working in anymore. I like to create things - like publications, websites, events, and more - and I don't get a real chance to do that in my current position.

I also don't know what I'm interested in. My therapist and I have been going over what actually makes me excited, and all I can think of is the study of the human mind and how it works. I love studying religion and psychology, but you can't get a job in either of those without teaching, and I hate public speaking.

So I don't know what to do with myself. I've been applying for jobs in a new field, and I hope that will help me feel more challenged. I also enjoy new challenges in my personal life. I love to try new things, and to do things that make me scared. It's the dopamine impulsivity thing, me thinks. So I'm trying something new. I'm playing a sport that makes me nervous, and I'm trying to reach out to new people in the program, which also makes me nervous. Hopefully taking risks will bring me out of my boredom.