I wanna go home

My escape from things happening in my life is always to go home. I get to see the people I love, and get a little love back. My life isn't that bad right now - I kinda hate my job, and I'm a little stressed. Stress makes me want to go home. I can always regroup there. But tickets are like $400! It's amazing how much they can charge you for stuff.

I was thinking October is a good time. I'll have a couple days off then, but I also am going back for a week at Christmas, which wouldn't be too far off. I think I can wait, yeah?

I'll just deal with my stress here. I need to learn how to deal with my emotions, anyway. I think I'm feeling lonely, as well. It's nice to have people in the program to talk to, but I'm not that close to them yet. And my sponsor is still on vacation. I can email her, but it's not the same as sitting down with her. I know this post has nothing to do with sobriety, but this is also becoming my dumping ground for thoughts.

About a year ago I had a total mental breakdown. My job was horrible, and I had to run away to get myself together again. Someone at work back-stabbed me, and made me look incompetent. I couldn't handle it anymore. I just went into shut down mode. So I went home for a long weekend. I didn't even tell anyone except Adam that I was there. I needed support and love from him and my dad to get me sane again. It worked, and I was able to come back and get a new job. I'm not there right now. I'm still feeling ok with it here, but I know that won't last. So it's time to look for something different.