Resentments

A lot of people talk about their prejudices coming into the program. "You weren't like me," they'll say. Or, "You don't look like me." People have found that the longer they were in the program, the less they had that black and white thinking.

One man this morning talked about how he had disdain for anyone who couldn't discuss philosophy with him. Another talked about how he couldn't relate to anyone who hadn't been shot or in prison. Sometimes I feel like I can't relate, but only because I haven't done those things. I've always been pretty accepting, except I hated bad grammar and bad driving. But those things, too, are black and white thinking.

I need to rid myself of those things that cause even the littlest resentments, even if I think they aren't resentments. Many talk about how they thought they didn't have many resentments, and then went on to write 30 pages of step four. Others say if you write more than 3 pages you're bragging.

I wonder what my fourth step will hold. I know I have resentments against my family. I definitely do against my grandfather, who wouldn't save me from my mom. In fact, he encouraged me to be her caretaker. He didn't even warn my dad that she was crazy even when they were married.

But what in the world can I do but forgive him? And that's a good step - forgiveness.