Drinking while driving

You would think I'm manic by how much I'm posting tonight, but I'm not. I actually feel pretty normal, I'm just bored with myself and thinking a lot.

I used to drink and drive. Well, of course, you say, you're an alcoholic. But what I really mean is, I used to drink while driving. I did it a lot. Not just putting beer into a cup and drinking it, though I did that, but learning how to take a swig off a champagne bottle without the person driving behind you seeing. Trust me, it's not that complicated. You just hold your head in a certain way.

My friend Amanda and I drove around the neighboring town one time on the way to a birthday party and finished off a bottle. I can't believe I was just driving around neighborhoods. Usually, I did it on the highway where no one is likely to see you. Wow! Just thinking about that makes me want to smack myself on the side of the head.

I learned it all from Diane. When I was 16 I was going up to her house in New England to stay for the summer and babysit her kid while she went back to school. With a 6 year old and a labrador in the back seat, we drove the 8 hours up there and finished 3 joints and two six packs of beer. Cheap beer, too. I think it was Coors, or something. She drove the whole way, cause I didn't have a license yet, but I thought it was so cool that we could get away with that. I looked up to her. Now, I realize she was only 28 and just as stupid as I was at 28. Though she's still stupid now.

I wish she would wise up to her addiction problems. She's got drug and alcohol problems, as well as being borderline personality. There's that dual-diagnosis again. One day, hopefully, she'll see the light. She's got another kid, now, a three year old, and she's still just as bad as when she was younger. All I can do is be there in his life like I was for his brother, and hope he turns out ok.