How to do your fourth step

"Notice how generalisation is avoided and the single event, the fight, is split up into its component resentments. The first three columns correspond to those in the Big Book. ... Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. To be completely thorough in our inventory the Big Book also tells us that we must be precise. ... We wrote down all the resentments we remember ever having, even if the memory is not painful now, for the Big Book says: 'We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty.'"

Like Adam said, leave no stone unturned. Think you're over it? Put it down anyway. Hate that you're still mad about it and embarrassed at your reaction? Put it down. Did something stupid in reaction to someone? Drank over something? Put it down.

This list is your grudge list. Everything that does and has ever pissed you off. My dog sheds all over the damn place, and it makes me crazy. He's on the list. My mom is nuts. She's on the list. My stupid car keeps getting nails in the tires. Construction sites are on the list. Anything and everything goes down there. Writing it down is really cathartic.

We're just focusing on columns one and two right now. Just write down who/what and why. That's it. Easy. So don't be afraid - it feels good to get it down on paper.

And that's the other thing: write it down. I'm writing it on a steno pad, as well as recording the bigger stories here. I'm really using this space as a fifth step.