Crossing your moral boundaries

I'm a cheater. I've cheated on all my boyfriends save one. You know who it is. I've also been the other woman in a relationship. This is one amends I won't make, because I'll only hurt them both, but I feel like I need to talk about this moral boundary crossing, because it's on my mind.

After Adam and I broke up, I was depressed. All endings to relationships are depressing, but ours was particularly heartbreaking. We loved each other so much, but in order for him to turn over that new leaf, I had to leave. That's a whole nother story.

So I went and did something awful which hurt me and two other people: I slept with a married man. It started as innocently as it could: we were working together on projects. He trusted me to do things right, and to listen to his direction.

By the time we got back to the office it was on. We flirted and ended up making out in his boss' office one night after everyone else had left. Since he was married, I invited him back to my house. He came over a lot after that, and my poor roommates knew everything. They were a part of my deceptions.

This went on all summer. I felt awful about myself, and punished myself by continuing the relationship. I knew it could only be hurting her, and that she most likely knew.

I am a disgusting person. This kind of behavior went, and goes, against all of my moral fiber. But I didn't care. I was depressed (no excuse) and causing myself pain. And in the process, I hurt someone who didn't deserve it. Eventually, my conscious caught up with me and I ended it.

I am a cheat, a liar, and an adulterer. It feels good to admit that. I need to change. I haven't done that in a long time, but I need to admit to myself, my HP, and another person the exact nature of my wrongs. I need to ask God's forgiveness and move on from it. And I will.