Misery is optional

Kevin was brilliant today. I've heard him speak before, but never his story. Besides being a great drunk, he's a genius. He said some things that I'm going to save for later posts, but the best part was:

"Pain is part of the recovery process. Misery is optional."

That's just what I needed today. Here I am, making myself miserable thinking about my life, and he tells me I really don't have to be that way. And then I was talking with a friend who said, you don't really have control, just influence. You can influence your life by taking your meds, and staying sober, and dealing with your issues. Influence.

So many smart people around me today. So, as I look back on my life and try to find where I've wronged or "been wronged" and write out my resentments, I can realize that I can influence the outcome of this process and not be miserable doing it. Sure, it may hurt like hell, but I don't have to hate myself. I can be objective. It's not an exercise in self-torture, it's an exercise in self-knowledge.