Willingness

Really, I'm on step three, but just thinking a lot about where I've been thus far. But today, I'm thinking about step three again. A willingness to turn our will and our lives over to a higher power. Our WILL. What happened to free will? According to Wikipedia (which is always right), "Free will is the purported ability of agents to make choices free from constraints."

Free from constraints. Constraints like God's will for us. Constraints like what's the next right thing for us. If we give away our right to free will, what do we have left? Now do we have to just listen to what something else is telling us to do? Isn't that what we rebelled against our parents for? Haven't we always been trying to live our own lives on our own terms?

And how's that working for you? Sure as hell wasn't working for me.

I think turning your will over is more like stopping and listening first, and then making decisions based on good facts and advice, rather than impulsivity or addiction. You know your addiction talks to you. It tells you to have that next drink, to go buy a pack of cigarettes, that it's ok to cook bacon at 2am. Your illness has control over you. And that's what we did in step one, was to let go of that controlling substance. Now, we have to let go of the idea that WE are in control, and that only we can do it right.