My first time in AA

This is technically my first time in AA, but my second time attending meetings.

See, when I was 16 Emily had a drinking problem. No, not me (ha ha), but her. She and I would go out and smoke a lot of pot and drink with our buddies. Since we were in the suburbs, we would go sit under the highway overpass and try not to fall down the gravel into the ravine below. We would spend every day there after school.

I was a happy drunk/druggie. I would just sit around and smile at people, or try to get people to do fun things like rolling down hills and skipping. Emily was a bit more of a fight starter (theme in my friends, really). She would steal cars and get into tons of trouble. She ended up in a mental hospital, and they told her she should go to AA. So she went. And she loved it.

She immediately fell in with a new group of friends, and even got a tattoo on her chest of the AA logo. She had such a great time, that she would ask me to come to meetings with her. So I did. But....

I would get drunk or high, usually high, before hand. I would come into the meeting, get my coffee, and when they asked if anyone had 24 hours I would raise my hand. "Hi, I'm Anne," I would say. Everyone would clap, and sometimes I would get a 24-hour chip. I thought it was fucking hilarious. Emily never laughed. She took it a bit more seriously than I did.

I think I still have one of those chips somewhere.

I don't think I ever looked at the steps, or even listened to what they were saying. I learned the Serenity Prayer, and I'm sure I skimmed through the Big Book once or twice waiting for the meeting to be over. If only I had looked. Well, I suppose I wouldn't have seen anything.

Adam took me to a meeting once or twice early in his sobriety. He said he needed support, but I know better now. He wanted me to hear something I needed to. I remember sitting beside him listening to the speaker and wanting to cry. I don't remember what he said, but I remember his story being so touching.

I've had my run-ins with AA before. I'm happy to say I think it's sticking this time.