Why hasn't he called?

Ok, so by now you have probably figured out that I'm in love with Adam. It's kind of a duh. We're best friends, we used to date, and I still think he's perfect for me. He's not perfect, by any meaning of the word, but he's perfect for me.

Since before he came out here, we've been talking nightly, whether by text, GChat, or real phone. We go through phases where we talk all the time, and where we talk maybe twice a week. And we've been talking everyday, sometimes a couple times a day, for almost a month now.

And I haven't heard from him today. That makes me sad. I know, he has his own life, and I should totally occupy myself with something other than the computer (I am reading a very funny Chelsea Handler book about one night stands), but for some reason tonight it's bugging me. I think he's trying to "disengage." See, he knows I love him. He knows I think we're soul mates, and I think I scare him sometimes. I am a little intense.

He's just getting over someone else, and he needs time to work through that. I get it. I don't want a relationship right now anyway, and he lives 3,000 miles away. But I was getting so used to sharing my night with him and having him make me laugh. I find him utterly hilarious, which I did even before I loved him, so I know it's not just that. I guess I just am a little worried that we're into that trend again where we only talk every now and again. I would really miss him. Above all, he really is my best friend, and he gives great advice, or just tells great stories.

I really liked having him here. If he lived here, I think we would have a blast all the time. I loved hanging out with him, and in the past when we hung out almost every day I never got sick of him. I even drove to another state (in the tri-state area) to sleep next to him whenever he wasn't in my state. I miss him.

Adam, don't run away. I know you're confused and in pain, but... But I don't know. Maybe he does have to deal with things on his own. Maybe he needs to grieve and then move on without me "helping." I may just complicate the deal, and I would never want to cause him harm. I just hope he knows I'll be here when he gets back.