Sunday, October 24, 2010

Does smoking help you stop cutting?


Damn. "...in the long term we found teens who started to smoke reported higher depressive symptoms."

I wonder if I quit smoking if I'll have less depressive symptoms? When I tried to quit earlier, it brought back all those self-harming tendencies, and I just wanted to cut so badly. I thought about this, and looked it up online. Apparently, I'm not the only one for whom smoking depresses the urge to self-harm. I really worry that if I quit smoking again I'll just start cutting instead.

I had a dream last night that everything was going wrong, and I had quit smoking, and there was no way for me to deal with my stress. I mean, I usually would drink, or smoke, or something it away. What could I do to control my emotions without substances? What the hell will I do when shit really happens? Will my meds and the program be enough to sustain me or will I self-harm, or take up smoking again, or something else?

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